Saving the sanity of a modern woman

Whether you are a stay at home mum, ambitious entrepreneur, part time employee or you sell products on Amazon – being a mum is the hardest task of them all. 

We are all aware of how motherhood can change our lives. However, apart from all the obvious changes, I feel that the lack of time and having tons of difficult choices to make can be very overwhelming too. Lack of time can be particularly painful for us women. The ability to make smart decisions or a lack of it, will quietly create your everyday reality before you realise it. Once that reality is created, there is nobody to blame for it but yourself. That’s the bad news. The good news is that you can always change the way you live your life. 

Raising above your circumstances and taking smart decisions can really make you thrive in life.

What would you give for a happy, fulfilling, balanced life? I know I would give a lot. I also know that it doesn’t come without a price tag and those who value it, will work for it – wether they are a woman or a man! 

While working hard on creating your perfect, balanced life, setting priorities, asking for help and making smart decisions is super important!

Having worked in professional corporate environment for the last 9 years, I’ve learned that standing out from the crowd, having courage to ask inconvenient questions, putting my needs above others, was rarely  welcomed. However, it did make me successful and highly rewarded further down the line. And higher pay check did make me happy. Learning to set my boundaries has earned me respect at work.

When the support around you is limited, self care is even more important. Once you invest in it, it will put you back on track in finding your inner balance, growing your confidence and becoming happier. 

Yet, as little girls, we are so often told to put the needs of others first..So we keep doing it until we start neglecting and hating ourselves, weirdly having expected that looking after others will make us happy!!!   What a complete and utter lie !

It then takes time to retrain your brain and start forming new healthy habits, so essential to be precisely what we want to be – a good mom, wife, employee or a boss.

Neglecting our needs can lead to more serious issues down the line, such as burn out, resentment toward your partner, loneliness, exhaustion or depression. We, moms need to relearn the art of self-care and self-love. We need to start small from doing what makes us happy, like dancing barefoot or going out with the girls.

We all deserve a lifestyle that will compliment our needs in the best way possible, but to get there we have to retrain our brains and change our thinking patterns. 

Men and women make their decisions differently. They take different factors and risks into consideration. Women are known to have a ‘’softer touch’’ and a less dominant persona in a corporate setting. We are also more risk averse and generally struggle to remove our emotions from decision making process. You could say that more often than men we ‘’think with our heart’’. 

Yet, despite the fact that women are known to be more loyal and dedicated employees to men, this doesn’t translate into their numbers in the boardroom.

We have the tendency to blame outdated male-dominated structures and ‘’old-school system’’ for this situation. Let’s be honest about it- could our lack of self-belief, self-confidence and taking too much on without pushing back, have something to do with it?

Knowing what you want from life, is an important step in getting it. Yet, so few of us know our needs, wants and values really well. It can be so confusing to discover we never took time to truly get to know ourselves. Very few of us have got there before we had our children. 

It’s usually by learning what annoys and irritates us that we learn what we really want in life. And that’s fine – as long as once we know it we articulate our needs.  Brushing them under the carpet is not going to change anything. Following a path of self-love and self-care will.

Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting different results.

Let’s prioritise and make smart, perhaps a little more selfish decisions. Let’s not look for excuses and waste energy complaining how tuff our life is… Nobody really cares.

Ladies, let’s be little more determined in reaching our goals and fulfilling our dreams. If we don’t, they will remain just that – our dreams!

Published by lisanilson

writer, art lover, mental health campaigner

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