Six simple ways of improving your love life

Love means different things to different people. We all want it and need it. We love that warm feeling inside love gives us.

When love is present in our lives  we feel happy, content and positive -nothing seems impossible. When it’s missing we feel lost and vulnerable. But does it have to be so black and white? Is it possible to find your sweet spot and stay there? How do we stay more balanced and less affected when our circumstances change? 

The answer is : YES, it is possible! Below there is a few ideas on how. 

1. Know and love yourself first 

As we go through life we often don’t have time to get to know ourselves. Our dreams, fears and desires often comes to the surface in situations where we are being tested by life. We become so much wiser later in life. Once we get to know ourself, it’s easier to understand our partner. It’s also easier to understand the dynamics of our romantic relationships.

One way to become happier in life is to love and be kind to yourself. Not give up who we really are and loose ourselves in a relationship. So don’t give up your hobbies, your friends and things you did for fun when you were single. If you do, your dreams will come back and haunt you, reminding you of your bigger purpose on this planet.

2. Work on yourself and remain attractive for your partner

The most important relationship you can build in your life is the one you have with yourself. There is unlimited love, power and strength inside you. You just need to learn how to access it. It’s completely achievable – I know it from my own experience. Once you tap into your inner power you can build the most joyful, happy and balanced connection with your partner -one where you are both independently fulfilled and happy. You enjoy the amazing togetherness where you positively contribute to each other’s lives instead of subjecting your loved one to over reliance. That’s when magic really happens.

3. Learn to communicate effectively

Sometimes, when you have been together for a while you might feel like things are becoming a bit stale and you start drifting apart. It’s natural and most people feel like this. The excitement that was present at the early stage of your relationship is gone and reality kicks in. This could make you feel disappointed, discouraged or sad. Suddenly, you have a flashback of your last break up. The warm, fuzzy feeling of being in love is gone. That’s when most couples come to terms with the fact it will take some work. Open and honest communication is what can prevent painful arguments and misjudged expectations. Nobody is a mindreader – not even your beautiful girlfriend or a smart boyfriend. 

It’s your job to express your feelings, fears and expectations. It’s not their job to guess them, despite the ‘’mystical connection’’ that you believe the two of you have. So define your observations and explain how your partner’s behaviour makes you feel. Communicate how you want things to change. Be calm, patient and positive.

4. Keep things fresh and fun

This is so so important guys! Find time to do fun things with and without your partner. Never neglect this part! Make time to go out as a couple. Dress nicely and make an effort. Go to new places, make friends, get a new hobby or improve on your current one. You need to stay fresh and attractive for yourselves and your partner. Even if you are single you should do it. The results will be visible in your confidence levels and in your wellbeing. Your work results will improve. Your partner will find you more attractive and not take you for granted. And they might be more inclined to follow the same path : -)

5. Change your mindset = Change your life

We humans associate certain experiences and situations with positive and negative memories from our past. Our thoughts and emotions are closely interlinked and form patterns of behaviour. The longer we live the more established these patterns become. This is because we think, feel and experience things every day. Our thinking creates our mood and our mood creates our mindset. This is why it’s so important to think positively as a negative mindset can hold us back from living a happy life!

So, in order to form new positive thoughts patters try thinking differently about your partner and your relationship. Learn about common causes of issues between couples. Learn how relationships function and the differences between women and men. Instead of complaining or demanding an instant improvement from your partner, include some logic and a bit of a scientific approach to your life. This will open your heart to experience more love.

6. Don’t be shy and ask for help

Life is a bit*h they say. Nobody is immune to work stress, commute stress, lack of sleep, bills pilling up, latest flu bug or the pressure you are under when your child is ill. You are not a superhero and neither is your partner. The sooner you accept it the better for you. Don’t sit and complain how tuff you’ve got it. Think about practical solutions. Can you drop off the kids to your mum’s and finish your work? Book a nanny and go out for a romantic dinner together? Learn to meditate to sleep better or perhaps read something informative/funny to make your work commute less stressful? These minor adjustments can make a huge difference to the quality of your everyday life.

‘’If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got’’ – Einstein

Published by lisanilson

writer, art lover, mental health campaigner

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